• Always offer very small portions. (you can offer more when the first portion has successfully been eaten.) Large portions may overwhelm a light eater. Use small ÒspecialÓ bowls, cups, and plates so they look full and inviting.
• Don't allow the children to dictate what foods they will eat. A child's request for food may come like this: "Can I have some chips?" Your reply should be something like: "Are you hungry? Please sit down at the table, and I will fix you some food." Then offer the child a small serving of applesauce, a nibble of cheese, plus two or three of the requested chips. Never just hand a child what they ask for. This puts the children in the driver's set concerning their diet and it is a hard pattern to reverse. If a child protests or refuses your offer of food, simply say something like, "I see you would rather not eat right now. Let's get down from the high chair and play. You can have some food later." The child will most likely be angry, but the next time food is offered the child will probably eat it. Keep offering healthy, small portions of two or three items.
• Food is a delicate issue with many foster children. Most of them have gone hungry and can begin to panic when they feel hunger. If you sense this is the case, put out small containers of acceptable snacks, to which the child can have access. For a toddler, a little paper cup of cereal may help ease their distress. Set the cup out where it is visible, but require children to sit in their high chairs to eat it. Don't promote the "wandering eater" by giving a child food to carry around. If they need something to carry and suckle, give them water in bottles or sipper cups. Offer milk only after a good meal is eaten, since milk will fill the child up and make the task of getting other nutritious food down them harder. (However, milk is very soothing so offer it before nap time or bedtime.) A full tummy relaxes children and makes them feel nurtured by you.
• Don't let meals become battlegrounds. Children often choose eating or not eating, or selective eating, as a method of expressing anger or control. Sidestep any attempt to get into battles over food. Simply offer good food regularly. If it is eaten, great. If not, after a reasonable time, excuse the child and remove the plate. Disregard any tantrums or backtalk. Offer good food again later. This is a challenge, since it takes effort to prepare and offer food to children and their refusal of it is hard not to take personally. But you must not! Keep your food preparation simple so that you have not invested too much in the meal.
• Snacking is usually necessary with small children since they don't eat enough at one time to go from meal to meal without getting hungry. So make the snacks count as nutrition. Give small amounts so that the child will be hungry for meals too. Offering a small amount of food every three hours is a good rule of thumb for toddlers and preschoolers.

Here are some suggestions for meals that are easy to prepare and appealing to most children:

• 1/2 peanut butter and jelly sandwich, 1/2 banana, 1/2 cup of whole milk
• 1 custard-type yogurt, 4 small crackers handful of raisins
• 1/2 cup of baked beans, canned peaches, chips
• 1/2 grilled cheese sandwich, applesauce
• 5 pitted black olives, 2 baby carrots, 1/4 cup cubed chicken or ham
• scrambled egg, 1/2 piece of toast with butter and jelly, 1/2 orange, cut in sections (this can be offered at any time of day)
• small bowl of hot cereal with milk, butter, and sugar--2 halves canned pears
• microwave a small to medium red potato, cut into cubes and add butter
• granola bar with a few thin apples slices

Offer a variety of basic foods. Offer them consistently. Offer them affectionately. When you are eating, offer children a bit of our food. You can use this technique to introduce them to new foods without requiring them to eat a full portion of something they are unfamiliar with.

SOME CAUTIONS: Many foster children have not eaten a variety of raw foods and tend to dislike or avoid them. Introduce raw foods gradually but consistently. Put a baby carrot on each plate. Put one slice of apple or two slices of banana on every meal for awhile. Try things like dipping fruits and veggies in a yummy sauce. Kids love to dip things (broccoli in ranch dressing, etc.)

Also watch how children are reacting to their diets: If they are bloated or have diarrhea, they may be sensitive to something you are feeding them or they may simply be overeating. Cut back on portions if this is the case. Some children cannot tolerate fresh fruit or whole wheat bread, or they may be unable to digest milk. Be sure to give children a good daily vitamin if the doctor agrees to it.

If a child is constipated, increase the fruits and veggies and fluids until stool normalizes. If the doctor allows, you could include a teaspoon of dark corn syrup in milk to soften their stools.

Finally, food is primary to nurturing a child. Make eating a fun and relaxing activity. Try singing while feeding a toddler. Include a few of the child's favorite food choices every day but don't let the child get stuck in a favorite food rut. Never try to force a child to eat. Continue to offer a variety of good food at regular intervals. Limit sweets or junk foods, but don't make an issue of it.

ABOVE ALL, SERVE FOOD SEASONED WITH UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

as taken with permission from The Advocate, newsletter of the Monterey County Foster Parent Association. Eileen Esplin, President.