When my husband and I recently adopted our son Christian, one of our friends playfully remarked, "Now you are four. The typical nuclear American family."

Really? It's true that we are four, with my husband and me, and our foster daughter Terina and new son Christian. But, typical? Not unless a mixed race, adoptive / foster family is suddenly regarded as typical. Based on what I see portrayed as typical and American and family in the world today, "we ain't it". Not on television, not at the newsstand, not on radio. Not in toy stores, card shops, or book stores. And not on my block, and probably not on yours either.

For whatever reason, some are not comfortable with, some are even opposed to multi-racial families. In multi- racial families, our skin tones are not all located near or on the same shade of the color wheel. And some of our facial characteristics don't look alike, as in, " Oh, Tasha, you have your Gramma's nose!", or " Michael looks exactly like William did at his age!" But we do share the same smile, if you look close enough. We probably don't share much of the same roots, either. Yet, our hearts are entwined.

I have this idea... my dream... of a coming together. Replace labeling and clanning and resisting with respect and sharing. I am not suggesting becoming one, denying one's culture, origins,etc. To do so would be sabotage in the worst way. It's unintelligent and irrational.

Thwarting my idea of this coming together, is the choice many make to "stick to their own kind", cling to what they have been taught to understand as the way it is, and ever shall be. The familiar & comfortable, even if it's wrong. Because the unfamiliar is frightening. People fear what they do not understand.

The perpetuation of tradition does just that: it feeds upon itself. If attitudes or beliefs are taught...handed down from generation to generation, they become entwined, serpentine. Unable and unwilling to unravel. Embedded in the mind set, they resist any attempt to consider alternatives, even for goodness' sake.

But, it's going to be all right. It's very okay for us. We have been blessed in finding excellent magazines that support and encourage mixed race families ( Interrace, BlackChild, and Child of Colors ,for example). We have been invited to become involved in a very multi-racial play group, and we belong to a "most definitely mostly" African-American church ( *note:Trinity Baptist Church in Cary, IL-as mentioned in Articles section of FP Newsletter, "Heroes Within"). At Trinity, we have found a church family that supports us, is going to mentor us( in their mentoring program), and embraces us warmly!

I hope that one day many more in our United States will come around to seeing and thinking and being and loving in this way. It won't hurt anybody. It never has, and it never will.

Oh, one more thing. At church Sunday, someone came up to me and said, " Do you realize that you and Terina look alike; does that sound strange?" I told her it did not sound strange to me because I told my mom the exact same thing when Terina first joined our family. A few can see it, most can't. I saw it right away.